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Mar. 17th, 2009 | 07:40 am

sleep: 1:00-7:30. could be better. should make a "no knitting past midnight" rule

food: i'm kinda gassy. shouldn't eat so much pasta

money yesterday: breakfast $5, dinner $9 (could be worse. yay stopping by home for lunch)

Thursday I will clean my room

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veggies

Oct. 9th, 2008 | 06:10 am

i'm hoping that my stress will subside now that i've figured out my job situation a little more. i need more sleep.

i need to eat more vegetables. i keep saying this but it's not happening. damned cheap carbs. why are greens so expensive in restaurants? it don't make no sense.

yesterday:
double cheeseburger, fries and apple juice at McD's (if you're gonna do that next time, get a small salad) ($4.39)
spaghetti bolognese for lunch, with apple juice and a coffee ($11)
half omelette and toast for breakfast (at home)

see, that doesn't seem so bad. just need to add more veggies. more veggies.

still hovering somewhere around 140 lbs. wanna get down to 130. will take my time to get there.

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(no subject)

Oct. 3rd, 2008 | 11:52 pm

today i had one cigarette left in my pack and i smoked half and put out the rest and got rid of it and spent the rest of the day debating if i should buy another pack but instead kept telling myself to please, please try not to. so i'm trying. it's going okay so far.

we'll see how it goes at tomorrow's work shift. i think i'll be fine. usually i just smoke cuz i can.

i had good food today. breakfast was a blueberry muffin and coffee ($3.50 at Java U), then I biked downtown, had soup at my sister's house before the radio show, half that cigarette, and then kraft dinner and some fish and rice afterwards. that kept me pretty full til after my dance class. had a vanilla latte from coffee depot ($5) and went to see a show ($5) but didn't buy any beer.

at home now. not going to smoke (i have one more cigarette here in my room). kinda hungry but thinking i'll just try to pass out now.

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smoking, and being hard on myself

Oct. 3rd, 2008 | 09:55 am

i tried to not smoke today. lasted until 9:55 a.m. i don't want to quit right now. quitting makes me think of someone who was really supportive in helping me not smoke. trying to make this about me.

i should start doing those exercises i learned when i did a study on quitting smoking. maybe i'll turn this into a quitting smoking journal, just for a bit.

right now, the only reason i can think to quit is that i shouldn't be spending $10 a week on cigarettes when i'm not making that much money. but i've never been able to save money, so that doesnt work.

speaking of which..

holy fuck i spent a ridiculous sum on clothing yesterday. and on food.
$60 on two tank tops from Esprit
$90 on two pairs of pants and a shirt from Simons ($21 to alter the pants)

and $50 at Chapters on a math exercise book and an agenda.

food:
$8 breakfast (turkey and cheese on croissant, with apple juice)
$5 lunch (double cheeseburger and small fries from McD's, with apple juice)
$9 dinner (beef pho with extra veggies)
$5 bubble tea (coffee and red bean)

i guess it's not as bad as i was thinking. i still kinda hate myself right now.

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back

Oct. 2nd, 2008 | 07:51 am

i'm back. figuring shit out.

been smoking about 4 cigarettes a day. want to stop. body is willing, mind is weak.

Current weight: 137 lbs in the morning, about 140 at night. want to get down to 130 lbs.

yesterday:

$18.20 on dinner (could have tipped less. i'm too nice of a tipper)
$3.70 on coffee and a huge snickers bar
(porkchop and rice for lunch, coffee and bagel timmatin for breakfast but I didn't pay for that)
cigarette on the way home from dinner, and right before dinner, and a few times during the day. about 5

before yesterday (Tuesday):
reese's pieces and diet coke at movie $7.70
(movie ticket was paid by "date")
gum: $1.25
coffee before tutoring (which was cancelled): $2.50
Zellers: toilet paper, tissue paper, yarn: $30.88

Monday:
sushi $25 including tip
smoked about 3 cigs

Sunday:
breakfast at N's (strawberries and juice and cigs $16.23)
Italian Poutine $5.25
coffee at Starbucks before going to meet M- $5.02

Saturday:
CPR course: $55.30
lunch: $7 (2 hotdogs, fries, drink)
Can Tire, goo gone: $3.79

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(no subject)

Jul. 19th, 2007 | 05:05 pm

i went jogging this morning. did about a half-hour, same route as usual. it felt good. i was more tired than usual, but i think i'm lacking in sleep.

it also doesnt help, this whole smoking thing. i feel myself getting all down after i've had a cigarette, when the effects of the nicotine start to wear off. damned sticks!!

i didn't have much of a breakfast this morning becuase I ended up doing gardening and laundry this morning instead.

but i brought some pancit in to work and had that for breakfast around 11. and then around noon i had more food: rice, a couple fried eggrolls, pancit palabok. i had smaller portions, but ate enough that i was full.

I'm drinking too much coke. there are coke cans in the fridge that we are selling as fundraising. i'm raising a lot of funds.

two cans today, i think.

i had a cigarette when i left the house this morning (last one, and I don't plan on buying another pack), and another this afternoon that I bummed off a friend.

oh, and a couple bites of ice cream.

I need to bring water to the Centre. water would be good.

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(no subject)

Jul. 19th, 2007 | 07:26 am

the problem with keeping one of these is that i have trouble keeping up.

anyway.

let's do yesterday:
breakfast: multigrain cereal with soy milk
coffee
mango

lunch:
three chicken nuggets
a hot dog in a bun
a handful of white rice
french fries (McCain baked kind)
can of Coke

dinner:
pancit bihon
fried lumpia
banana cake
can of Coke
rice
half-mango for dessert
small amount of ice cream

three cigarettes: one first thing in the morning, one at lunch and one before bed

exercise: biked from my place to Vendome metro.. but was running late so gave up and took the metro. also, it was hot.

i guess it's not so bad. i keep telling myself that it's a process. i just hate how i do so well then fall then get back into it. but i think i'm actually doing a lot better. its just that stupid lunch from yesterday that's bugging me. it's what happens when I go over to J&B's house, cuz they have kids.

anyway. current weight: 145 lbs

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quitting smoking (again) day 1

Jul. 13th, 2007 | 11:03 am

omg I'M CRANKY!!!

I didn't have my morning cigarette. and I don't have any on me. and F is coming to meet me later and I feel bad because I'm not myself today. but I'll be myself soon. and better! just need to breathe. and drink a lot of water.

I went jogging this morning, after dismissing any excuses to not go. Did at least 30 minutes non-stop out to the usual landmark, and back. When I first started out jogging, I could only go for 10 minutes before I needed to stop and breathe. that was about half-way out to the landmark. then it was that I could make it to the landmark, but would have to stop about halfway between it and home. Now I can do the entire thing.

I also realized how totally dependent I am on my mp3 player. Thankfully, it didn't die on me today, even though there were no more battery bars left.

Anyway, I got home and did some curl ups and push ups. and had multigrain toast with organic peanut butter for breakfast.

Grocery notes:
- cereal/granola
- rice milk
- jam

I'll drop by my organic grocery store tomorrow after my tutoring session.

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trying harder

Jul. 13th, 2007 | 06:09 am

argh. i'm back.

i started smoking again. and drinking. which is fucking with my appetite, and my sleeping patterns have gone to shit, too. so back to the blog.

I need to figure out some sort of a routine. and I need to start getting to bed earlier and waking up earlier. cuz otherwise what ends up happening is I get overtired and stay up too late until I just end up passing out, and then i'm rushing in the morning and I don't have time to make and eat breakfast, make a lunch, tend to my cats and do the dishes or whatnot. I just shower and leave.

I used to be so much more disciplined! but I also used to live at home with mommy to make my meals. hrm.

So anyway, last night I stayed home and I made my lunch: steamed swiss chard and soba noodles, some cucumber slices, and fresh snow peas.

Let me just recount my food from yesterday, make a few more observations, and then be done for this morning:

Yesterday:
2 pieces of crab (mom dropped it off for me)
Chicken souvlaki and fries from Copoli ($9.25, incl tip)
"Greek salad": dark greens, cherry tomatoes, feta ($5.75, including the water)
bottle of water
2 pieces of multigrain toast with no-transfat margarine
3.5 cigarettes (a half in the morning, one on lunch break, a half while waiting for a friend, the other half after dinner, and another one last night)
lots of water

Sleep:
4 hours (2 a.m. to 6 a.m.) last night

Exercise:
biked in to school (about 40 minutes, mostly uphill)
biked over to meet co-worker (20 minutes, flat),
then biked home (20 minutes, downhill)

Money:
$15 in food

hrm. yesterday was actually better than most days... i just really need to cut out the fats.. Opting for salad instead of frieds with my souvlaki, for example. and I need to take the time to make my food. because I spent $15 yesterday, and that's not unusual. sleep could be better. I was tired at midnight, but only ended up sleeping at 2. i should make it a rule to shut my computer off when I'm tired, or i just end up on it all night.

potential new routine:
wake up at 7:00
7:00 - 8:00 get ready for jog, go jogging, shower
8:00 - 9:00 have breakfast, feed cats, make lunch
9:00 - 10:00 go in to work (bike if the weather is good)
12:30-1:30, lunch
3:30-ish: snack (cuz i'm usually hungry by 6 and end up eating on the way home)
6:00-10:00 home, or out, but try to be home and getting ready for bed by 11

My plan for today:
jogging 7-8
breakfast, feed cats, scoop litter and bring out garbage, pack up lunch 8-8:50
bus in to school 9:00-9:40
burn dvd's and transcribe interview: 9:45 - 12:45
SnB: 1:00 - 3:00
then... did I say dinner at my sister's place? plans with A&C? what about Drew's party? or the Ka Bel party? or getting in touch with some people about interviews? What time is the PWC meeting tomorrow? Can I meet my cousin for tutoring? I should make some phone calls. after my jog.

current weight: 141 lbs. (awesome)
current feeling about body: flubby tummy and arms, but damn i'm pretty ;p

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Lemonade

May. 17th, 2007 | 07:05 am

Have any of you heard of the Lemon Cleanse?

For the past couple days, after Field (PWC's huge fundraiser) was over, I've been feeling sooo incredibly gross. Just exhausted and gross.

I know that a huge part of it is the amount of cigarettes and alcohol I'd been consuming over the last few days.

So I decided to go through a detox-type thing, and my roomie showed me the page for this Lemon Cleanse thing. Did some research on it and it looks more popular than I was expecting.

It also looks downright scary.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to be going through the entire fasting thing, but I decided to cut out for the next month:

Cigarettes (although working on that for life, but for now trying for the next month)
Alcohol (this one will be interesting, but I know I can do it)
Dairy (oh cheese, how I'll miss thee)
Meat (heh.. this one might last only a week or so, but I wanna drastically reduce my meat consumption so this will be where I start)

and I'll have that lemon concoction once a day.

I think the whole fasting thing is a little whack. I mean, I don't know, maybe my body was made to fast every once in a while. It's supposed to only last ten days, you know? But I feel way too much societal pressure to eat. But I think if I cut out the crap and just aim for eating fresh veggies every day, I'll be okay.

Let the detox begin!

p.s. I've been hovering around 141 lbs for the past couple months. yay, me!

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